What you should know about FMD

My current diagnosis of Functional Movement Disorder (FMD), seems to be promising in the respect that it is something that top Neurologists are talking notice of.

What I have learned so far is that there are hundreds of others throughout the world that also have FMD or Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). For now, both diagnosis are paired; meaning they are currently being treated differently, but under a similar classification. There is still a lot to be learned about both, FMD and FND.

There seems to be no time limit on it, as in it doesn’t seem to go away, it just gets progressively worse over time. Symptoms are slow in onset at the beginning, then come on strong within months. Symptoms also come and go on a day to day basis, with no time frame or warning. If you have either of these diagnosis, you are at the hands of the illness and what “it” wants to do. Both illnesses seem to be dormant in the body, then rear their ugly effects after a trauma of some sort.

I am in part of a support group and am in line for two clinical trials. I see so many others commenting and posting and our symptoms are all similar or exact same. All of us diagnosed have the same, or similar symptoms. What saddens me is that for some, it may seem “fake” as in “a cry for sympathy”, but I can assure you this is not.

Both FMD and FND are rare. Where does it come from? That is what we are working on. Is there a cure? Don’t know yet. How long will this last? Don’t know. Will it get worse? It seems to, but time will tell.

This illness is hard, mentally and physically. Mentally being that my life has been turned upside down, spun around, then turned again and again. Physically, I have good days and bad days. I do have less symptomatic days, but mostly I am symptomatic.

Some examples of symptoms that sometimes occur all at once but usually just several at a time: My legs get numb, the bottoms (arches) of my feet hurt terribly, I am nauseous, I can’t hold a cup with out two hands, tremors, shakes, headaches, short term memory loss, extreme fatigue, pulling of muscles as if you are being pulled in both directions, back pain, blurred vision, dizzy spells, speech issues as in slurred and stuttering, inability to use fine motor skills.... And I could probably go on by why? By now, you get it. I am never ok. I am in pain every day.

I am trying to have as normal of a life as possible. Just because you may think I should stay home or whatever, means nothing. When I do go out, I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding and by all means, roll with this as I have. If I am having a good day, celebrate with me, if I am having a bad day, go with it with me and celebrate that I am alive. I am not going to stay hold up in my home nor am I just going to lay down a die. I would rather see you out and I am somewhat ok or good, but if you see me using my cane, see me on an electric scooter or in a wheelchair, DON’T JUDGE ME as I have no control in my day to day life anymore.

I want to make it clear that I cannot work a regular job. Because of my excessive list of symptoms and how they come and go, I cannot think of any job I can do at this time. I cannot call off work 2-3 times a week if I were to get a job.

People NEED to be aware that this is in fact real and it could happen to you.

If you read this the entire way through, I thank you for caring or being interested enough to do so.